went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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