Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
