He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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