She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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