peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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