he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
