Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
