dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
