Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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