just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
