between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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