please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize