and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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