that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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