The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
