3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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