on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
