My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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