I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
50% drunk capacity currently
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
