You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
