I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
