Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
