I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
