Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
