Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
