a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
