I think I am morally bankrupt
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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