I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
