I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
