I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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