the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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