That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
