Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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