i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
