Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
