Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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