dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
