ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this will be a night to untag.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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