Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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