If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
