We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
