I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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