I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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