How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
