i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
