I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
two words...techno handjob
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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