so let's talk penis.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
