She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
