Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i think i just lost a toe
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
