I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
