Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
