I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i love accidental penises.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
