I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
