My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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