Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
