I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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